Hello ppl. Todae i have an article for u guys to digest. It is a spoof i did on this article, http://www.cyberdespot.com/jesustricks/christian-sex.html. Read that article, and read my spoof and see which one makes more sense. Its my first attempt at spoofing something. At first, i wanted it to be funny but when i finish, i realise it actually makes alot of sense. So read on, and get enlightened.

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Self Satisfaction of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of Sex by Banedon beloved advocate of Lucifer of the Fallen Angels Anonymous Published in the year of our Arch Enemy 2004 Blogger USA

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICEFOR THE YOUNG BRIDE

To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must play the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the wonderful experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually detest the wedding night ordeal with dread and distaste! Beware such an attitude! A loving and sensual husband can easily get sick of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE ALOT, GIVE WILLINGLY, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE WITH GUSTO! Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could be celibate.
On the other hand, the bride's love need not be extreme. While sex is at best orgasm and at worse torn pussy, it can reach multiple orgasms, and have been experienced by women since the beginning of time, and are still being experienced it now.

It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to wait for the groom to initiate the sexual advances. While the ideal wife would be one who would approach her groom the moment they hit the sack, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average woman.

Most men, if edged on, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a minimum of three long sexual experiences daily during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to increase this frequency. Feigned virginity, act slutty, and role plays are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Masturbation, speaking dirty, volunteering for oral sex also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of having and enjoying sex. A good wife should expect to have increase sexual contacts to five times a day by the end of the first year of marriage and to everytime they feel the need by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of having sexual contacts just for fun, love, peace and joy with only the husband. By this time she can depend just upon his love for her skills on the bed and her willingness to get it on to hold the husband in the home.

Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as much as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to increasing the kind and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather imaginative, and if given a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most marvelous practices. These practices include among others performing the act in yoga positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own body to be mouthed in turn.

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the best habits the male can acquire throughout his life. A wise bride will make it the goal always to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and always allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it can be done, should be practiced with creativity. Many women have found it useful to have see-through cotton nightgowns for themselves and birthday suits for their husbands. They should be cleanly shaved everywhere below their heads. They will feel better that way. Thus, multiple orgasms are possible.

Once the bride has donned her gown and dimmed the lights, she should groan provocatively and do cat like advancement towards her groom. When he comes charging into the room she should deny him physical touch, just to turn him on. She should let him grope when she feels the time is right. There is always the hope that he will initiate foreplay, and they will engage in a long and meaningful love making.

When he finds her, the wife should struggle as playfully as possible. Bodily motion on her part will be interpreted as sexual excitement by the naughty husband.

If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head ever so slightly so that the kiss barely touches instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should show him her breast. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown off, open up her clut, and announce that she loves him more than anything in the world. This will generally increase him desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.

If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will flirt with abandon. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how trashy it may sound at the time. Eventually, the husband will learn that if he never initiate foreplay, the wife will also enjoy it.

The wise wife will allow him to pull the whole gown off, and permit him to have full body contact. She will be moaning and groaning while he's huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will fidget and always remember to moan and groan while the act is in progress.

As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start massaging around his groin and expresses that she wishes him to perform again on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion and massaging immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be discouraged to try for more.

One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment will see a major difference in him if u follow this handbook to the dot. They will exclaim how he became a better and more fulfilled man from the day they started working together, and how he hold his wife in high regards. The wise wife will know that the husband with be safe from sluts, loose women, one night stand, flings, and will always be hers because of her willingness and skill.

Before u begin reading this blog issue, i have to warn u, if u dont have a sense of humour, easily offended or wat not, please do not read ahead. Strong anti christian puns and jokes ahead.

There is this one spoof on a common christian prayer, aka ranting. It got me laughing for a full half hour, and i still having fits of laughter just thinking abt it. Damn funny hahahahahahahaha.

Written by a DMoore2546 on July 23, 1996 on talk.atheism, lifted from the "evil atheist conspriacy" website, links found on my right hand column, the one with the Jesus logo.

Jesus Is Lard!

Jesus is Lard and Godot. Pass the Jesus. Jesus is Lard of malls. One day every knee shant bow and every tongue will cunnilingus that Jesus is Lard. For God so loved the world that he came. His beloved Son then wiped it up with everlasting Bounty. Praise the Lard for His Mercury Capri. His tooth will endure to all generalizations. Praise the Lard for all His dressings and mercury capri. Whoever will cook with Jesus Crisp as their Lard and Garlic will have everlasting crunch. We have a choice between lite or dark in our spirits and chips. Some have chosen dark for their clothes. When their physical melody dies and their spirit goes up in flames, it will be too late for their croutons. Now is the time to saute' and bar-b-que Crispy Lard before it is too hard. Praise the Lard from whom all heart attacks flow. Jesus is Lard. Ahem

Hahahahaha if u havent already realise, this whole thing is very in tune with the original. Someone please help me get the original can? And this spoof is wonderfully done.

And there is this power joke, oso lifted frm the atheist website, but not too sure of contributor.

During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning's executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a rationalist skeptic. 

The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, "I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me." The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim's neck. To which the rabbi said, "I told you so." 

"It's a miracle!" gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go. 

Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, "I believe in Jesus Christ -- the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost -- who will rescue me in my hour of need." The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward -- thump! creak! -- stopping just short of its mark once more. 

"Another miracle!" sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free. 
Now it was the skeptic's turn. "What final words have _you_ to say?" he was asked. But the skeptic didn't hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply. "Oh, I see your problem," the skeptic said pointing. "You've got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!"

Hahahaha so thats wat is installed for skeptic. Hahahahahaha.

And there is this link on the issue that humans dont really rule the world. Giant squids do. Read this article to noe wat it is about. http://www.cyberdespot.com/thoughts/squid.html

Just wait ppl, i will do a spoof on one of the articles soon. Heeheehee if u read that atheist webby, and u noe me well, u should noe wat i am going to write about. See ya guys!

Its me again. If u realise, i have been getting irregular with me blog entries. And i have stopped to make my blog grammatically correct. But i will strive to eradicate all the speeling errors i make. And for ppl who noe me personally, i have become, wat i used to describe as the singapore language problem, a chinese who speaks chinese, cant write chinese, writes english, but cant speak english. Hmmmm... If u r wondering wat i mean, nvm, that is the singaporean slang for u.

So wat have i been up to? Lately, i got some games from xephyris, like i mention in the previous blog entry. Among them, there is Metal Gear Solid 2, Sons of liberaty. A game by Hideo Kojima. MY! THIS IS THE BEST GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED ON THE PS2!!!! I spend 4 hours just playing the first stage, the one on board a ship. Why so long? Cause every start is a different game! I pefected my art of sneaking around, killing without using any bullet, and without alerting any of the guards! So when i was through with the first stage, not a single guard was standing around. Why is this so great? Cause if i alerted any guards once, new guards will return to the killed guards location and start patroling? Wat is it u say? Its onli a game? U havent been living man!

So wat am i blogging about this time? Recently, i read Agagooga blog and got alot of links frm his site, which inturn leads to a whole lot of other links. My, now then i noe how interesting the net is, so many things, funny information out there, u just have to read them to noe. Agagooga, ur site is the granddaddy of weird links! Kudos! Esp those about the Prince Wo-hen nankan. If u dont noe, do a search on it. I read the Prince blog and realise that his girl died of STD recently. Poor guy. But i still think it is a bad joke from singapore(think frm poly one) being played too far. But still, it is beri funny, and apparently, alot of ppl around the world heard of it. Why singapore poly jokes? Bad english in a geocities site. Singaporean got this tendency to use geocities free webhosting. Dont noe why too. There are alot of good ones out there. And the name of the prince is in chinese. I might be wrong.

Anyway, from Agagooga blog, i came across this blog Meanderings In The Mesozoic . Quite a nice blog, especially this entry. It is about him as a christian believing in evolution, and an article in Scientific America on "15 rebuttal to some of the common creationist arguement". Very nice article, i love it. Do read it if u have the time. I read it thrice.(the discussion of religion and evolution are my idiosyncrasy)

Anyway, since the author of the blog is a christian and believes in evolution, he said this, "As a Christian who also happens to be very fascinated with the multitude of lifeforms that once inhabited this planet long before humans walked the Earth, I am often caught up in a storm of arguments for and against evolution. And while I openly proclaim myself a Theistic Evolutionist, i.e. one who believes in both the existence of a God and that evolution does occur, it riles me to no end when Creationists and fellow Christians resort to half-truths, occasional outright lies, withholding of valuable information, out-of-context quotes, irrelevant and illogical arguments, and already-refuted points, and much hysterical arm-waving and hollering to strengthen the case for the story of creation, which, to put it mildly in my point of view, is complete bullshit." Wat can i say?

But i think since the existence on us humans is already attributed to evolution, where does god comes in? He created the big bang? Cause science has already explained everything one second after big bang happen. So how did big bang happen? Why did it happen? No one noes... Maybe thats where god comes in. Or just maybe, the life force that causes things to evolve are all done by god. Hey i am trying to be sarcastic here. So wat i really mean is since god didnt create us or the stuff around us, so wats god for? Answer bed time prayers? Promote ppl to angels? Chairperson of heaven? So IMHO, i think ppl who believes in evolution, cant be a christian. Cause if u believe in both, it sounds like a oxymoron. Sorry, just my few cents worth. Banedon's blabbering: i was wondering, when ppl say, "a penny for ur thought", and u just give them "a few cents worth", are we shortchanging them?

So wat do i believe? Yes, i believe in evolution. To hell with religion. All religion is just a fabrication of lies used to make humans then lead a better and more fufilling life. I dont believe in any religion but it doesnt mean i condemn them. Like i always say, religion are here to have those weak minded humans have a sense of purpose, know wat they want in life, braver when facing death. Alot of us cannot get used to the fact that after u die, thats it, end of story. There is no heaven or hell or anything for u. U just disappear from the face of the earth, like it or not. Yes i noe, it is not a pleasant thought Cause with this in mind, most ppl cant face it, they seek death immediately. Since watever they do here, it is useless and meaningless as they will all die. In my opinion, this is the reason why darwin said there must be god when he died. So like money, religion is a necessary evil, u cant do anything about it, so u just live with it.

So wat i believe the world is created? Unlike the agnostic, i do have a somewat vague concept to how the world is created. Of course, along with all the origins of religion and the likes. Yeah, all these are based on science and research, other ppl reasearch that is. Alot of theories and the likes i am going to write now, i cant remember the sources. Go go a search or watever to see if they hold.

So once upon a time, there is onli space and cosmic dust. Then comes this weird effect that ppl call big bang, where dust collasped onto this one point and intense heat and light is given out. Yeah there u have it, the sun. But like i said, how it happen and why it happen, no one noes for sure. But the second after this happen, everything is some how or rather explained.(and i find this to hold more feasible truth than the bible) So after this bang stuff, which i cant recall, there is the earth and the rest of the planets created. If u wanna noe, go read up on big bang.

So after earth was created, it was damn hot and covered with water. Why got water? Ask the big bang scientist. How come living things can come frm non living stuff? That article touches on that point, go read it. So during that time, when land was formed, it was a great big continent, unlike now, got 5. U want, go read up on dinosaur history.

So after all that hassle, ape like creatures who can think were evolved and they roamed the earth. Then, they fear the night, lightning, predators, diseases, death, lack of food, and all sorts of other things. Since they can think(and of course feel), they try to explain everything, as all things have an origin. So things like the sun, moon, mountains, fire, lightning which those apes holds in fear, are in turn worshipped by them. There u have it, the origins of paganism.(This is all about religion, remember?) Relics are found in ancient caves that points to thinking apes worshipping stuffs. I cant quote examples cause i didnt bother to remember.

During those times, apes and the likes(i cant find the term for them) lives in tribes. As with all tribes, they will have a tribe leader. How did they come up with the leader then? They fight and see who is the fittest. That ape will lead. And how do u keep ur fellow apes under ur command? Show them u r the fittest, so they will respect u. Then after some evolving, better evolved apes feel that they can lead without fighting. Of course they will quote examples like if two of the fittest in the bunch are fighting, wat if another tribe come and kill them all? Who protect them? Then they start to lead by bloodlines. Eg. "My papa is SM LEE, so i PM LEE, u got a problem?" Then after a few generations, some hot heads will again question them, "how come u get to lead where the reason is because ur father was leading before?" Facing with all these funny problem, and of course the problem with diseases, act of god(man, they should change this term to "act of nature") predators, some smart alec came up with an idea, a religion. To create a one omipotent being tat explains everything. (maybe he didnt think along this line, he just created the word god and he believes in god) If there is anything u dont noe or understand, it is god who is behind it. Bad things, devil. Good things, god. So when ppl ask how come that funny guy leading? U say, because i am the son of god. Why ppl die? Because god want them back. How the world got created? God created it. Easy as 123. And no, i am not quoting christianity here. Incidentally, chinese "middle kingdom" religion is also similar to wat i said. The emperor is the alleged "son of the dragon", and gods created it. The onli difference is that chinese got a whole lot of gods.

So back then, where u dont have scientist, information on the grand scale(eg net), u believe watever u hear. Since everyone fear death,(even rats, baterial and such all seek to reproduce themselves) believing in god seems so right.(but not true) If there is no one to keep everything in check, chaos will erupt. So they created heaven and hell. If u do enuff good, u go heaven. If u sin too much, hell is waiting for u. Like wat i say earlier, i am not talking about christianity. Taoist and a whole load of religion all follow this line of thoughts. So with this in mind, humans then will lead a more ordered life with little supervision frm the leaders. They need onli places of worship for u, and more time for themselves.

So with all these set up, population within their clan, groups, tribes watever grew. Since they can think with logic, population confirm grow one. Like rats if u never control them, u will have swarms of them after some time. So when ur population grow, u need more food and more space. U need more space and food, and lazy to find ur own, u kill ur neighbour tribe to get it. Piece of cake. But back then, how do u tell ur ppl to fight? Of course, u can tell them ur real cause for fighting. They will fight but without the zeal. Why? They know that they can always find new grounds if all else fails. But since leaders then can think and feel, they already noe the meaning of "face value". I can kill u, raze ur land to dust and destroy all the food, nothing of use for me(except my ppl die lar) but i still feel good if i win. My ppl die not i die mah. (like i always said, humans frm day one are all selfish) They think up such thoughts of course cannot let their followers noe. And if their followers dont have a clear vision, when they are facing death, they will back away and retreat. So how?

So clever! Gods again! They told them that if they die for their cause, they will have a place in heaven for them, their families will all be well taken care of. Ppl with no burden fights better mah. And no, i am not quoting islam here. Coincidentally, vikings also like tat one. And the greeks and so on and so forth. So i u get wat i am trying to say, religion is the omnipotent force in the world. Even now. So religion is created to find them, contain them, keep them in check, and to rule them all.(hahahahaha i couldnt stop, even if i risk it being incoherent) But if no one has ever realise, the number of rings JRR tokien wrote in his story coincide with the number of religion in the world. But dont quote me. The one ring or religion is wat everyone seek to find. (but i am bull shitting. Heeheehee)

So with all these, religion is actually a long fabricated lie that is passed down frm generations to generations, long before humans can write and record them down. Are we still so dumb now that we need all these lies to live? Cant we just rely on our own conciencious?(bad speeling but u noe wat i mean) Wats so bad about dying? Thats why we reproduce mah. Cause if the heaven and hell thingy is to hold true, rat, cockroaches, mosquitoes, hiv viruses every living object will be there as well. Or can u fanthom the fact that onli humans make it to heaven after they die? Just because we are god's first borns? Or wat? And with the number of ppl dead frm the day earth came about, heaven must be a damn overcrowded place, or is it in 4th dimention? So actually, if u think really deep, it is easier to believe in science than religion. Reason being u cant live a lie. Ever try to live a lie? Noe how hard it is? Thats why in all religion where the stuff gets ambigious or vague, they all say the same thing, it all rely on ur faith or that god didnt meant for us to noe. But the science way? It is all explained(of course the time before big bang and itself are not explain) except afterlife, which i believe doesnt exist. U live for the moment, die the next. Pure and simple. Dont believe, u can go to hell! (pun intended)

Anyway, this is purely my views and opinions. If in doutb, or u suddenly got an urge to flame, please, read my blog's title again. I guess ur english cant be that bad. Or just f**k off, dont read my site. But i treasure feedbacks. And i do noe that the line between feedbacks and flaming is damn thin. Nvm i will keep me comments open. Heeheeheehee.

Konichiwa!(think i got the speeling wrong again... nvm...) Recently, i realise that all my "act cute" usage of english grew on me... Stuffs like spelling "spelling" as "speeling", "english" as "england", "today" as "todae" and having "la", "le", "wor" peppers within my sentence... So when i was typing my resume, proper report or proper emails, i had a hard time correcting this errors. So frm(erm sorry, from) now on, i will try to cut off this bad habit of mine and blog in proper english. Sms too.

Ya ya ya i know, i have not been blogging recently. Reason? I got a bunch of new games from my friend, xephyris, and i havent even played through all of them yet. And i got it from him last weekend. With so many games to go through, i think they will last me for quite some time. And i got a couple of anime dvds from him too. So guys, if u r really waiting to read my blog(but i guess ppl like tat dont exist anymore...), please be reminded that i do have a life. If u see me blogging too often, it is either i have no life then, or i am very pissed off with some issues or such.

Okie, so recently, i started to know my school teachers better. Pity i am leaving them at the end of next month. Oh well, but it is good while it last. Anyway, i begin to realise that teachers are human afterall. You know the awe we held teachers in when we were young? Nah, all of them are just plain humans, with their own quirks and habits. Some are damn messy, so messy that my room and my girl girl room combine, oso lose to their cubicle. Imagine how small a cubicle is(dilbert liken it to a "human cage") and she(yes, the teacher's a she) can be some utterly messy, her stuff formed a wall at the entrance of the cubicle. Imagine... And i had a hard time finding her CPU as it will be buried underneath books, shoes, students' art pieces, u name it, u can pratically find it there.

But anyway, what i wanted to blog about is the talk i had with some of the male teachers. You might have guessed that there are some christian male teachers in my school. So like what they are prone to, they invited me to their church. But the thing is, that church is a semi detached residential area converted into one. Hmmmm... Sounds familiar right? Like buddist temples and stuff right? But what i think after i know that even christians do this is that they havent register their practise as a church. And the guy in charge of that semi detached church is not a full-fledge pastor. Or maybe a pastor drop-out. Cause if you register and you are a full-fledge pastor and someone big in the christian commitee recommend you, think it is quite easy to find fundings(just see how city harvest ppl donate. think they can open a few more churches, or even one with swimming pool and babe shows. WOW!) and build one from scratch. Just look at the nuimber of churches in singapore. You find them in almost any corner. Even dipilated cinemas!(Read: the origins of City Harvest)

Like i was saying, they tried to convert me and i just replied that i am an atheist.(recently, i read an article on ppl who are atheist. it mention that all hard core atheist who are well known and had a following are people who are disappointed or have some problems with their fathers(father here refers to their own father, the one that gave his sperm to create that atheist). Hmmm... it further explains that since they are disappointed with their fathers, they just couldnt have the concept of having a god, cause they are scared that god might disappoint them, just like what their real life fathers did. Interesting article. But i bet it is written by a christians, or worse still, a mormon that is keen on destruction of all non christians. hmmm... if you are wondering, i too am quite disappointed with my father. very interesting. but i still feel that christians are a bunch of sissys whos daddy spoilt them to bits, which inturn created a bunch of misfits who dont mingle well with the general public. so they created this mass on sundays, bible studies, cell group meetings to get ppl together, so when other ppl see them, its like they have damn lots of friends. but tell me, just how many of them are "real" friends that stick to u, that are willing to lay down their lifes for u? they might do things just short of that but it is because of their religion. just how many of them really feel so when they help u? or do they fear retribution?) And some of them didnt understand the meaning of atheist! Man! It was like a joke, and they thought that it is another new religion or denomination of the christian community. Xephyris, u train me well. For ppl who dont know what atheist is, it is someone who dont believe in god. They believe in chaos theory, reincarnate, evolution, big bang, anything that doesnt have a spritual being overseeing everything. Of course, and there is the agnostic.(nonono, it is not autistic, the mental illness where little kids lives in their own world) Agnostic is one that couldnt give a damn if god exist or not. These are normally people who sits on the fence, dont noe whether to believe or not to believe.

So he ask me to go to his church for a visit. Like always, i answered that i was a christian long long time ago, but i back slided after i realise u have to go to church every sunday. Hell, sunday is there for u to have fun but this pastor, who had fun from monday to saturday, will try his best to bore u to death on ur so impt day of the week.(man, i couldnt keep up typing proper english. Heck, just f**k it, i type wat i want. Man feels damn shiok!) And i got this weird habit of mine, that whenever i am seated in a church bench(there is a proper name for it but i forgot) i just couldnt control myself and laugh all the way, which in turn shakes the whole bench and disturbs all the others. Nononoono the pastor is not a "botak" or anything,but in any church, whenver i sit down, i will laugh uncontrollably. Hmmmm maybe i am the anti christ after all....

So i told his i back slide and finish reading the bible(which i actually did, one of the feat i did. I read the student bible and alot of ppl say i dont understand it. U see, christians got this weird habit of gathering together and study the bible. So their reasoning is if they talk so long to really understand the bible, how can i finish the same task when then i havent even completed secondary school? An atheist cant help it when christians are stupid. But they are study bible in the interpretation of the one that taught them. Similarly, i study it in the interpretation of the one that wrote the student bible.) and i still dont believe it. An omnipotent being created the universe? Evolution just seems more feasible. Religious tolerance? I actually practise it, if those stupid christians keep to themselves and stop bugging me(hard core atheist) to join their clan. I find christians to be a bunch of misfits who dont have friends outside, so they create all these funny stuff to gather and mingle. Cause they know that humans are social creatures and humans dig gatherings and attention. Try tat on ur girl girl.

And from my experience, all christians who heard wat i said will be stunned jialat jialat.Why? To them, how can one back silde from such a "GOOD" religion? And i think that 90 percent of the whole christian community dont noe wat evolution is. Or just noe a bit on it.(you see, those d*mb f*cks spend their time reading and studying bibles, they dont have time to read around) Then all of them will try to reason with me. Some will say, "so u believe we are decended from monkeys?". My reply,"u got a discrimination against monkeys? i find them to be cuter than u(and more intelligent too)". Or they try to say that carbon dating is full of loop holes. Different condition of the environment affects it and the world then and now have different environmentall condition. True but the bible isnt full of loopholes? Who is the one that says if the bible didnt further explains the part, it requires u to have faith? This is the test for faith? Or they say stuff like, "do u noe, just before darwin(the father of evolution theory, but strictly speaking, ppl before him already came up with this theory) died, he said there must be god, or something similar and died?" My take,"ppl are a bunch of beings who gets overwhem easily. Try lying on a great plain, staring at the sky, with nothing in ur peripheral view, just the sky. u will feel as if the sky is falling down. so when u r dying, and u noe it, it is understandable that u will think through alot of things, find that there is no one theory for everything, and dump it all to god. makes life easier." (and yes, the reference to the sky failing has nothing to do with the reason i stated. it is just their to fake those d*mb f*cks.) Or stuff like,"even einstein believes in god." Ya ya he is a jewish for christ sake!. Hahahahahahahaha

So after some debating, i realise that my conversational english sucks to the core. And my written arent that great either. Sianz....But one thing i want to state is even though i dislike christianity, i find it nessesary. Ppl with weak will power, no friends, confused with wat their life is about, just about any ppl with problems need a religion. It keeps u in check and gives u purpose in life. It is good it that sense but i believe in survival of the fittest. Misfits should die and burn in h*ll! They should be glad that i just didnt listen to them. Wat if i wanted to convert them to atheism? Not believing in god is good as i can slander him in my blog and get away with it. Ignorance is bliss. But if god really exist, he should make us all believe in him. But like they say, god didnt want that to happen as then, we will all be one minded, or similar. So u r telling me god likes chaos? He likes wat he sees now? Nvm. With so many things unanswered, i just wish that we will all b*rn in h*ll.

So much for this issue of blog. Like always, dont get offended by my blog. If so, dont read it. Thats all. Bye.

Harlo ppl so here i am, blogging again. I suddenly realise that me blog is starting to have entries tat specified alot of things abt my life, if u read careful enuff. Hmmm... This is bad...I never wanted this blog to turn out like this, but then again... Nvm.

Okie, so i am here crapping abt me life. Recently one of me friends ask me to set up a business. Hmmm. Sounds interesting. So wat are the carreer choices i have now? A. To set up business wif him. B. To Remain wat i am doing as a lab tech. C. To change me carreer to something better. D. To go for the teacher interview and hopefully become a teacher. E. To learn aikido real fast and strive to be an instructor in 5 years. F. To slack now, wait for 4 years, and live off my gf, as a "xiao bai lian". G. To hope Julian really get his "anime land" masterplan going and try to the the job as "the man in the pikachu suit".(God... i can run around hugging girls... this it the job of the lifetime!) H. Submit me resume to an acengy and hope for the best. I. To go around begging friends for jobs, money, toiletries.... J. To sell me butt to whoever comes knocking.

Nvm. Since i realise my blog comments has been declining to a abrupt zero, i will continue to crap abt me life :)

Recently, i played this arcade game called mushiking. If u r observant enuff, u should come across this small machine in every ZONE X arcade in singapore. This machine is small, green, has a card sensor where u swipe ur card, and 3 buttons on two sides, all 3 buttons are either scissors, paper or stone. Yes yes this is the bug game that apparently are aimed at kids who havent gotten over pokemon fever.(eg. LIKE ME!)

So wats this game about? This game cost one buck and straight after u insert a dollar, a card will be ejected. So u see, u get to play the game, and get a card. YEAH! Anyway, the card u get should be either a creature card, or a skill card. Since this is made by sega, i reckon the cards system are fair. But anyway, after u get ur card, the game will start (DUH!)

So after the game start, u get to choose if u want to play alone or wif a friend, like in versus. After this, u get to choose the difficulty of the game. Like easy or hard. Easy and a little green fella will come on screen and give u tips on which button to press, and will oso give u cues that i think a 2 yrs old should be able to get. Hard and i dont noe wat will happen...

Nvm, so after all these senseless button pressing, it is time to swipe ur card. First, swipe ur creature card. This will tell the machine which creature u r using for the entire game. Then, as u all have guessed, swipe ur skill card. This will state the skill u r using in the particular match. AND THESE ARE ALL THE CARD SWIPING ACTION U R GOING TO GET FOR THE ENTIRE GAME!!! AND I TOT I CAN SWIPE THE WHOLE GAME THROUGH.... AND THE REST OF THE GAME INVOLVES A GAME OF SCISSORS PAPER STONE WITH THE COMPUTER AND BUGS DOING WESTLEMANIA MOVES ON EACH OTHER, TRYING TO REDUCE A GREEN BAR TO ZERO!!!!!!!!! ARHH!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONNED!!!!!!!!!

So much for that gameplay.... But then again, the target audience are kids... If i am in my "inner child" mode, this game gets rather enjoyable. Me and me girl girl are laughing throughout the game. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... But then there are quite alot of bugs card for u to collect. The thing is, they all revolves around stag beetles and rhino beetles. Hmmmm.... This game must be created when japan was hit by the bug craze... Interested, there is this site mushiking.com, where u can go and have a look. Anyway, if any of u guys are playing this game, do let me noe :)

There is this other racing game "WANGAN MIDNIGHT MAXIMUM TUNE" that i have been playing. Interesting game. All jap super cars are all here, fairlady, supra, and more that didnt make it into initial d racing game. WANGAN actually is kinda dumb, with bad artwork(worse than initial d), bad racing physics(worse than initial d) and a whole lot of others. Expected as this game is created by namco. All ur cars are capable of going up to 300+++ km per hr but u dont feel the speed. In initial d, whenever my car is at 120km/hr, and i need to take a turn, i will feel fear, but for wangan, i wanna laugh... And whenever u have a hard knock in wangan, u dont feel like it is a hardknock cause the game doesnt give u the "SPEED" feel. Hmmm... Onli thing that saves wangan is that the game uses a 6 gear shift, a card system(just like initial d) and is damn easy to play. Frm wat i see, this game is out for less than a month and already i saw a lot of ppl winning the last stage, and winning the bonus stage after that. Not like initial d where i play for 2 solid months, i couldnt even reduce my timing for more than 5 secs, where the best timing out there is faster than mine for a full minute. Imagine....

So much for gaming, and i have spend three days trying to write this blog entry. So u realise how the ideas and such are all beri the broken. Hmmm.... Anyway, i havent read the news for some time, can anyone of u guys tell me wat happen to the philipines hostage? Did the terrorist manage to free him? Arroyo won the election due to this? Hmmm.... news.... I kinda need them now...

Hmmmmm.... Nothing much to say... Never read the news now adays... Never really surf the net.... No interesting pictures... Okie, i will implore u guys for a digital cam donation... I want a digi cam.... Who got old one wanna give, or sell? Hahahahahahaaha then i bet my comp cannot support the downloading of pics... I need one to create my online comic. Hahahahaha till then! Oh ya, about the BONSS thingy, i have totally forgotten about it... Seng, maybe we should start the business on this. BONSS. Success garenteed!

Harlo ppl so im here to blog again. Hmmm.... I realise that i havent been blogging for the past 4 daes... Reason? I was too busy on fridae and sat, and i realise that back at home, i can no longer connect to the internet. Reason being singtel leg itchy went and change their dial up number and i end up couldnt log in into their network, even after i change to their new dialup number.... Sianz..... So ppl, if anyone of u got a free dial up internet account, and u r not using it(like those that comes free with singtel broadband users), please, i need it to survive... I promise i will never give it to anyone else... Heck, i might as well subscribe to a broadband but hey, i can use broadband connections at work :)

So much for intro, i was veri bz this sat. Reason being me kena sabo by my principal, and i had to be involved with the racial harmony thingy.... Sad... So i was working frm 6am(yes bloody early...) to about 7 pm.... Farking no live man....But i got to see all the chio bus frm all the JC in singapore gathering in a small and ill ventilated hall. Man! That is life!

But wat are the chio bu doing in a small, ill ventilated hall?(there happen to have guys around but i couldnt notice any of them) They are all there training a beri stupid dance that they call the CEMO CEMO(incidentally, CEMO stands for Chinese, Eurasians, Malays and orang utans. Erm... Think it stands for Others or something, or i got the speeling wrong, pity those indians but then, not much indians read me blog!) dance, or the dance steps which they will dance when ever there is a racial harmony dae. Boy, am i glad i have already graduated long long ago.... So when those chio bus started dancing, i started to sit in a quiet corner, staring at all of them, and grinning like an idiot. Hahahahahaha and apparently, some of them likes the attention. Heeheeheeheee *evil grin*!

Through this event, i realise how stupid, farking stupid my principal was, erm is(as he is not dead yet). I will describe to u three instances where he showed his stupidity. Makes homer simpson seems like a genius.

Hmmm for u guys to get the joke, i must append a brief writeout on wat our principal looks like. And a little bit on how he thinks. Okie imagine a short old man, with black hairs that is apparently dyed; a farking big beer tummy that makes mine looks like an ant hill, so farking big i couldn recall if i ever saw another guy with a big tummy still; short and fat legs, so farking fat, it is equvalent to his tummy; small eyes; big farking mouth that says onli nonsensicial stuffs; triple chin, with cheeks that onli a bull dog can match. Hmmmm and he can still think very very highly of himself.... Julian, this particular guy makes eng looks like a saint. No joke. At least eng is visually acceptable.

Instance number 1. He thought that the walkie talkie works like a handphone.

We were issuing walkie talkie for a trail event that we are holding. Our principal, being a smart ass, wanted one issued to him, even though he is not involved at all. So being the "yes man", i issued one to him. Then he asked if this particular walkie talkie belongs to the newer version and i said, yes, they are, as they all look quite new to me. And then, this farking stupid fat ass started to hold the walkie talkie to his face, like wat u would with a handphone. Before this, i switched on the volume to full blast and at the particular moment, someone spoke through it and the voice blasted his fat face. God... Then he ask me to lower the volume, and so i did. He then went back to use it the same way, while he kept saying:"testing testing 1 2 3. this is ur principal here. responds if receive." Rite this instance, me, my fellow teachers were all staring at him, didnt noe wat to say, surpressing our laughter... God... That thing is a walkie talkie for goodness sake... Then he went back to us, told us the thingy was faulty, and wanted a change. So one of my teachers told the fat ass that the thingy wasnt spoilt, just tat he dont noe how to use it. Then the fat ass explained that the newest model of walkie talkie are used in the way he used. Hmmm.... Handphones = walkie talkie? Then he when on to say how come we never use lastest model, how come i still say that it is the latest model and stuff like that... God... Who the fark dont noe that u need to press a button whenever u r using the walkie talkie? And he used to be frm the army... God saves fat asses....

Instance number 2. He got funny ideas on slimming.

There was this time when we were having a break and were chatting away. The fat ass was around. Then somehow or another someone came up with the topic of slimming down.(makes me wonder if this is meant for the fat ass) Then this fat ass stood up to say his piece. And he said that he is fat because he drinks too much. Rite that instance, all of us tot that he meant he drinks too much alchohol. So we said to cut down on drinking. He answered that yes, he is cutting down on drinking, even to the extent of not drinking for the whole day.(compulsive drinker? alcholic?) He then said he onli suck on ice cubes, and goes on to demonstrate sucking ice cubes with his fat lips and fat fingers. God... Then all of us realise that wat he meant is he drinks too much water. And he never drinks water at all, onli sucking ice cudes.... GOD HOW STUPID CAN ONE GET? And he when on to say if he never drink enuff water, he will fall sick so he onli tried this method for 7 daes. And he shown prove that it worked. This technique cuts his body weight by 3 kg! FARKING ASS! Ppl who are finding techniques for slimming down, please do not follow! This is the most stupid way of slimming down! U r onli removing ur body's valuable water and that is bad for u. Drink lots of water, workout, sweat alot and drink again. This will cut u back to size. Farking hell... With principal like this, i am worried for the future of singapore.... He is onli temporary slimmed down, after drinking water and such, he will grow fat again...

Instance number 3. He comes up with funny environmental ideas.

Since this event was a big event, and mineral water provided, u can imagine the amount of plastic mineral water bottles waste we generated. Then this fat ass came up with this idea. He asked all of us to collect all the empty bottles, filled it up with soil, sand or water, and build a plastic mineral water bottle tower, preferabaly up to 10 or 12 stories high, and enter the guiness records... God... How stupid can one get? He will be wasting resources.... wasting the water, sand, watever he put inside those bottles. Then he will generate such a hugh bulk of rubbish that after the whole hoohaa died off, he will need to find ways to disassemble it. A biggest joke on earth. After he came up with this suggestion, he when on to say how smart he is. Said ppl who have came up with one big and great idea and do it good will get famous. Ppl who do 100 small things and did them good will never get anything. True but he forgot if that one big and great idea is stupid, he will be a clown in front of the whole world. He will get famous for the wrong kinda stuff...

It really saddens me to see that alot alot alot of stupid ppl are holding high, important posts. I will make allowance that one cant noe everything in life but at least, if u r in a important post, u need to realise and admit ur mistakes and stupidity. Everyone makes them. Learn from them and try not to make them again. It is so simple and logical yet ppl holding high post are all concern about their face value, how not to appear stupid and useless, and in turn piss ppl off frm wanting to help them. I pity these ppl. Never learn anything in life and die just like tat... Sad...

So much for this blog entry, i realise that me size gets about 100 hits per week. Is this good or bad? Let me see.... This boils down to about 14 to 15 hits per day... Hmmm.m. wonder how many of these visits are actually done by other readers.... And the lack of comments.... Hmmm nvm.... Maybe one of these daes i will do another entry on politics again. Or on the news.... Or on sex.... Watever...

Yo feeling damn sleepy this morning so i blog(again?) to keep meself awake. Somehow, blogging makes me use my brains more. Oh ya, about interesting pics, i didnt bother to find wor, didnt recieve any interesting email so no pic to post.

Any of u guys ever watched the beheading of the korean video? I happen to catch it while at work. Quite a funny clip, come to think of it.

So wats the clip all about? It is a farking low res pic. Much much worse then those porn vcds u find in singapore. The whole thingy is like 6 mins plus long, and the language medium is anything but chinese or english. So i will use my limited english and vocab to try and describe this clip to those who havent got the chance to catch it.(i deleted it off after the first time i saw it... dont noe man but i will say that the most gory pic ever is in ur mind. go figure)

So this clip starts with the korean keeling in the foreground, blindfolded, with arms tied behind him. The cloth that was used to blind fold him was a washed out red/pink thingy that covered his eyes frm the forehead region to the bridge of his nose. 4(or 5, i couldnt rem) terrorist with face covered in the opposite way of the korean(that is, onli eyes expose) were standing behind the korean, wearing their usual garb.

So for the first few mins(this clip onli 6 min long wor), u onli hear the korean pleading in korean.(wat else u expect? japanese?) I can onli catch one english phrase and that is "I WANT TO LIVE!". (all the rest, i can onli guess) Other than that, the whole thingy was peppered with sobbings, shouts, and wat not, what a human will do when held under duress. During these whole thingy, i suddenly realise i got a reaction(u noe, the groin area?). Then it struck me that the whole thingy sounds like a porn flick.(u noe, where girls create a hell load of din?) Arh.... The sweet mysteries of life.... Oh ya, the whole thingy was peppered with badly done cuts too. Makes u appreciate the cuts done by singapore censorship board. (and i was wondering, now adays terrorist so high tech le? they got video editing softwares with them?)

Two at the flanks are armed with their AK's and one was just standing there. The other left was holding on to a script thingy and reading from it. If u wanna noe, watever he was reading, it sounds like those from the mosque when they started chanting.(no rasism or insult meant) So i take it that they are speaking arab. The guy speaking was making alot of hand gestures and yakking in a beri beri excited way. Frm wat i gather, this scene might be the part where the terrorists were asking for the korean to retreat.

Then after a badly done cut, the above scene got repeated again. I presume that this time, they were saying stuff like "u f*rking never go home, i will f*rking well behead ur f*rking citizen! u f*rking take note of this! May u f*rking die in the worst pits of hell , f*rker!". So the other guy standing behind the korean(the one i tot was an extra, till now) took out a machete(f*ck i cant spell, it is those small knives, roughly above the length from ur elbow to ur wrist, blade slightly curved towards the front). Without another word or any extra moves(u noe, like wat power rangers do whenever they are starting a fight?), the extra hold the korean by his hair(hahahaha standing just behind a kneeled figure makes this seem so easy) with is left hand, and brought the blade to the korean's neck. Okie, here is the disgusting part. The extra began to saw off the korean's head. Ya practically saw it off, with a sawing motion... But the funny thing is the camera started shaking violently now, and alot of terror began to crowd in front of the screen. (makes me wonder.... havent they see a beheading before? or are they trying camera tricks?) Then u catch snippets(arh... bad speeling plaguing me...) of the extra making the hostage lie down on the floor, holding the hostage still with his foot, and starting the sawing action again. Then u noe that all the terror flood the camera because all of them are trying to hold the hostage with their feet. Hmmm.... maybe they will get lucky if they do this???

Okie so after wat seems like forever, they finally manage to saw the whole thing off. Then the extra held the korean's head and started proclaiming(watever, i dont understand) in arab again. The head was saw off rather cleanly, i would say. But a part of the cloth used to blindfold the korean was dangling behind, and i guess some ppl will say that it is part of the korean's skin. Arh... the problems of low res clips. After this whole commotion, the extra put the head back on top of the korean's body. Arh so all of us respect the dead after all.

Here is the interesting part. When the clip was about to close, they show the korean's head resting on his body, and a muslim prayer was playing as the BGM(back ground music). Now this time, this really really sound like wat u hear in a mosque when they are doing their fridae prayer. Ya i noe there are diff types of prayer, but i will be damned if i noe the diff. Interestingly, muslim say prayers too whenver they kill livestock for food. This makes their food halal. Wondering if it is the same prayer... Ot the one where they use to send the dead to heaven...

After watching this clip, i was thinking about a few points. One, how come the korean never shout when he was about to be beheaded? A few answers comes to mind. He might be sedated(seems like i speel wrong again...). He might have already given up on living. Or he might be like us, who dont understand a word of arab and when the extra was shouting "behead!" or "kill!" he couldnt fanthom and when the knife was sawing away, he was too surprise to have shouted. Hmmm..... But he was not gagged or anything.

Another thing that comes to mind is that there isnt much blood when the beheading was done. Think all of u guys will noe that the brain needs alot of blood so when someone sever ur neck, blood would be spurting like siao. But this particular beheading, not much blood was seen. It might due to the low res of the clip, the korean was kneeling damn long, all blood was at his legs, or the korean was already dead when the beheading was done. Explains the lack of scream too...

Hmmm.... So this is wat the whole clip is about. A clip that i think is rather interesting cause the next better clip of this sort is ppl sawing off their own little finger le.

Hmmm.... U noe when sometimes images of drastic sorts gets stuck in ur mind for a long long time? I realise this when i was masturbating on the day i watch that beheading clip. Nonono not straight after but a lot more hours after watching. Then half way through, that f*rking beheading image starts to surface in me mind but i still manage to finish my job... (Nonono i wasnt masturbating to the beheading thingy, it was all about a chio bu i saw on the bus) So i was wondering if i am a psychopath or am i just plain "strong"? Hmmmm...... U noe, sometimes u are in the heat doing it then suddenly u think of something that turns u off, wat would u do then? Continue? Nvm... I am already getting sick.

So much for this entry, have a nice day.

Harlo ppl, it is me again. Recently, since the dae i stopped commenting on politics, my comments has dropped rock bottom(and i cant seem to get over it as i kept blabbering abt it). No, i wouldnt go back and so i will just make this entry short.(i noe got not link but nvm)

"Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely." - Hesketh Pearson, Common Misquotations (1934), Introduction


Hahahahahaha was reading this quote and i laughed for a good 3 mins. Hahahahahaha still tickling me funny bone now man. hahahahahaha so damn sarcastic. Nvm i got this quote off Agagooga site, balderdash. An interesting site belonging to Agagooga. Okie okie so it is not julian's alter ego after all, but his (good) long lost evil brother? (or something like tat. i noe i got it wrong but i would quote the above quote.)

So i was atonished to realise that my site are being read by some cool ppl. So i will endeveor(pardon me speeling, sec 4 C6 standard) to make this site as crappy as possible. Hmmm.... Makes me realise that all the stupid idiots and all i ever blogged about regarding stupid ppl are all aimed at myself.... Nvm... I will get by...

Okie this entry is here just to make me site seems like it is being updated regularly. No substance entry. Gf and Front mission 4 eating all my time and "the stars of my work life" seems to be shining in the rite direction, i work so hard, i got no time to blog. So live with this entry for the rest of the week.

Oh ya, that balderdash site is a beri well written site wor. Easy to read, not like mine, sentence construction so long and in sub standard english but then again, thats wat me site is about!

So ppl, recently i realise that my blog entry on "blame it on his star sign" is gathering some good amount of readers. So i will go on, and publish ppl who i noe, their star sign, and my comments. Read on.(sorry girls, onli on guys, none of the articles are on girls)
The first one to undergo my treatment is none other than seng. I do him cause some on the readers noe him personally(his lawyer mates, ivan, linhui) so can relate to this. Enjoy.
He's a dreamboat who lives for romance, and his hypnotic charisma will leave you weak at the knees and breathless.(if u ask me, seng noes nuts abt romances. i think the onli thing he can ever romance is a... wait let me think.... *half hour later*... he cant romance anything...) He may be a visionary like Copernicus, or a joker a la Billy Crystal, but a Pisces man is intuitive, caring, and sympathetic.(intuitive, caring and sympathetic... my... bonzi buddy can do those! for those who dont noe wat bonzi buddy is, where have u been living? its the purple ape program that keeps popping at ur desktop. free ad kind of thingy.) No other male in the universe is as capable of profound love and devotion.(... now i noe... since he still feels for his sec sch crush... no i wouldnt sabo him and say who she is) Unfortunately, he's so in love with himself that you don't stand a chance.(so now i know... oh this explains everything. Ya ppl?)

The male Fish is the emotional black hole of the universe.(wah! more jialat than scorpio) Toss your heart, soul, and car keys, and all will disappear forever.(true true he is so forgetful) This guy learned at an appallingly young age how to weasel his way out of work and charm his way into bed.(hmmmmm is it? thing this area he kena influence by other stars le) He's definitely sensual, sexy, and cute, in a debauched sort of way. (debauched? someone help me here. means he is cute sexy in a bad way?) Don't let the image fool you.(no, none of us did) At home he may be a quiet little Fish, swimming around and around the beer bottle, but romantically he is the great white shark of the zodiac.(i see. he pratically will be there wherever he smell romance? Oh ya, i noe him to be a terrific "light bulb") A Scorpio man will hurt you because he has a morbid fear of rejection.(so damn true) Your Pisces guy will do it just to keep his teeth sharpened.(hahahah so i am not so bad afterall) He's a natural born liar.(yes we all noe that) And he's honed the art until he fools himself.(god... talking abt self confidence....) Such as when he's perched on his favorite bar stool, watching the sports channel and ogling hot bodies, but telling himself he's gathering material for the novel he plans to write.(hahahaha ivan, recall anything yet?) The only thing this loser will ever write is a smeared phone number on his cocktail napkin.(he writes thesis too... btw...)

He's self-destructive.(self destructive and loves himself? can link meh?) He loves sex games.(judging frm those fetishes he likes) Feel free to wear your nurse's uniform but expect him to play patient, not doctor.(Arh.... but doctors get all the fun) Buy a dog collar and he will bark.(hahahahahahaha) Introduce him to your best friend if you dare, but don't leave them alone. He will have affairs anywhere, any time, with anyone who will hold still long enough.(no lar, he still not as sleek yet) And with an icy detachment that rivals his Gemini cousin.(hahahaha u and long cousin man) The Fish can leave you full of his declarations of undying love, drive straight to his favourite watering hole, and pick up the first available body.(oh yeah.)

Don't expect your Fish to be the breadwinner.(he is a laywer for goodness sake) Some Pisces males start on a career path early, but if yours hasn't dropped the remote and picked up a degree by the time he's in his late twenties, forget it.(he is an undergrad so no need to be scared.) You will end up with a ne'er-do-well who thinks making his fortune means winning the lottery, and that reality TV is culturally educational.(not applicable... but can apply to me le)

If you are a Virgo with a job, house, and cheque book, or a Cancer who doesn't mind playing nursemaid for the rest of your life, this guy was meant for you.(so he needs weak girls who just needs sweet talks) He's tedious. He has a compulsion to use the same cliches he's used since high school and will invariably run a subject straight into the ground in the shortest possible time.(hahahahahaha so damn true man) Telling him he's not funny only eggs him on, because he's not after your laughter: he's out to provoke you. (oh.... so damn true again)

All bluff and no substance, Mr Fish is a cast of thousands and even he doesn't know what scene he'll play next.(so blur?) But since he does like role-playing, you could pretend you're the Lone Ranger and ride into the sunset.(hahahaha play hard to get when u are with him girls!)
So much for seng, the next one i will touch on will be tahara, aka xephyris, aka julian. Read on ba. (if i remember correctly, julian is a libra)
'I can resist anything except temptation.' Oscar Wilde (Born October 16) (f*cking A! i like this quote man! didnt noe my all time fav writer is a libra! so libra are all sick creatures! oscar is thought to be a gay, btw)

He's funny, charismatic, and oozes charm.(funny... but i will have to agree with this) His sense of style is impeccable and his lively, friendly personality puts him at the top of everyone's A-list.(erm... and weird too...) A Libra male is an idealistic dreamer who believes in world peace and fair play.(oh? he play fair???) He will take you to the most expensive restaurant in town, declare his adoration in front of the smiling patrons, and drop to one knee to propose. Before you exclaim, 'Yes, my darling,' make sure he's still looking at you. By the time he's slipped the engagement ring on your finger, he will have spotted his next conquest walking towards the bar.(all of us guys wanna do that...)

A Libra man is perfectly capable of marrying you on Saturday and starting his next string of affairs on Sunday.(oh i see... but the julian i noe is interested in everything, except girls) He's fickle, inconsistent, and constantly on the prowl.(he is onli into cyber jap anime) Never mind Aries or Gemini. When it comes to love, the male Libra is as flaky as a used car salesman sniffing out his next sucker deal.

He's shallow.(??? now we noe) You may start thinking of a future together after a couple of rounds of his polished sexual prowess. However, to him, future is defined as until tomorrow morning, when he'll most likely forget your name before he finishes flossing his dazzling white teeth.(oh ya, he can forget meetings and stuff like tat one)

He's superficial.(???? now we noe again) A Libra man prefers beauty to substance and expects to be blindsided by the emotion of perfect love.(u tell me hong lan pretty?!?!?!?!) Oh, you'll hear bells ring, but, after the honeymoon, those harmonious chimes quickly turn to death knells. He doesn't want a real woman who will jar him out of his escapist daydreaming into a world of house payments and crying children. He wants a Barbie doll to cook, clean, and entertain his endless procession of casual friends.(scorpios would love barbie dolls too... who doesnt?)

He's not into anger.(true true. the onli person who i noe has a better temper than him is yours sincerely, me) Pick a fight with him, and you'll get a half-hearted argument.(i just give u the "couldnt be bothered" look) Usually, he will verbally dodge, sidestep, and try to distract you from the original issue with all the nimbleness of a Capricorn skipping out on his alimony payments.(Ahahahahaha) Contrary to venting his anger, he will drive you to vent yours.(oh yes man, onli thing is eng too dumb to noe)

At best, he's an indecisive bumbler who's so easily distracted that he'll get sidetracked into spending the day at the races with a friend he met in the supermarket while you and the kids wait for dinner. Or he'll come home empty-handed from the paint store because he couldn't decide which shade of green to buy for the hothouse.(oh ya, this is again very true. he himself should noe)

At worst, he's king of the lounge lizards. The '70s should be renamed the Decade of Libra Man. Wizened lotharios from this era still have their blue polyester leisure suits, gold chains, pinkie rings, and an original bottle of Hai Karate. The modern versions wear leather vests over bare chests and strut like peacocks down the middle of the dance floor during the band's break, hoping every eye is turned in their direction.(hahahaha he is into retro too mah)

He's a master of double-speak.(oh... ya...) He's also self-obsessed.(which guys arent?) Libra Timothy Leary used all of his formidable intelligence and personal magnetism to force the world to agree that his endless quest for a bigger high was actually the key to brave new worlds. When faced with the inevitable opposition, Leary reacted in typical Libra fashion. He devised an entire thought system to detract from his self-indulgence. In his mind, the rest of the world made a terrible error in judgment by not embracing his philosophy. And that issue was more important to his Libra soul than proving that the path to God was sprinkled with LSD and magic mushrooms. (who the hell is this timothy leary guy?)

Mr Scales has a give-and-take nature. You give. He takes.(I LIKE!) He will expect you to flatter his ego, coo as he preens, and help him pick the tie that best matches his eyes as he prepares for a night out with his friends.(Scorpios like tat too man) You, on the other hand, must never depress him with tedious details such as an overdrawn bank account or a leaky roof.(we love this too) Whether his dimpled good looks outweigh his self-serving ego is your decision.(dimpled good looks.... how come they noe... wait... all my libra friends got acne probs....)
So tats all on libra, and my blog. Take care, god bless, and die in peace.

Whether he is tall, dark, and handsome or short, blond, and chubby, a Scorpio man is idealistic, passionate, and loyal. He will mesmerise you with his candid, purposeful stare and capture your heart with his magnetic charm. He may be as cuddly as Sinbad, or as sexy as Leonardo DiCaprio; wear a white collar, a blue collar, or no collar at all; but here is the man who is impossible to resist. Think you've hit the jackpot? Think again, sweetheart.

Loving a male Scorpion is like falling for King Kong. Oh, he's sexy and, underneath that aloof exterior, surprisingly sensitive. Of course, that titbit of knowledge may not help when you are handed divorce papers because you said his best friend was a low-life slob. Other guys might sit down to discuss their feelings. Mr Intense will sit down and rip yours to shreds.

He is selfish. Never mind that you are married to him or in a serious relationship. The Scorpion's idea of commitment is showing up for dinner most of the time. His emotion switch is set at sub-zero, and he won't hesitate to be unfaithful until he's dead. However, contrary to popular belief, he is not sex-crazed. That trait belongs to cousin Aries. Scorpio is terrified of deep emotional dependence on just one person, so, in his usual ass-backward way, he screws around precisely to avoid intimacy.

A male Scorpion has two reasons for living. The first is power. The second is control. He would control fate if he could - and some try. He will usually be a good provider because his desire for power and control drives him to become successful in his chosen profession. But money is rarely his primary motivation. Financial gain is only a by-product of becoming Mr Big. His moods change faster than a Pisces flipping the remote, and he will test your love by demanding the devotion of a religious fanatic at a revival meeting. He's so jealous, possessive, and sarcastic that you will be tempted to poison his oatmeal. There's no handling a Scorpion. You either put up with him or run like hell.

Deliberately awaken this man's green-eyed monster, and you better have a shovel handy. You are going to need it to either defend yourself or dig your own grave. Remember this before you are foolish enough to plunge into an affair, or worse, a legally-binding relationship.

The worst thing you can do to a Scorpio man is to not react to his emotional intimidation tactics. If he demands to be alone, applaud. Curb his sarcasm with a yawn. If he says he wants an open marriage, tell him you thought you already had one. When he announces he's going out without you, tell him to have a good time, then smile as if you know something he doesn't. He'll pretend to leave, park around the block, and sneak back to lurk in the bushes, convinced that you are cheating on him. He's as obtuse as Taurus when he thinks he's right and will stand in a rainstorm all night, muttering to himself, while you are cosy by the fireplace.

He communicates by threat. The foremost one is that he's leaving you. He also lies. The only thing harder to rid yourself of than a Scorpio man is a Cancer woman. A male Scorpion frequently looks like he just ate a cactus. That's because he spends half his life getting even for some real, or imagined, slight and the other half causing all his own troubles.

Yours will be so secretive that he would rather have his fingernails pulled out than tell you what he had for lunch. He's morbidly afraid that if he dares to share any serious facts, or fears, you may get the upper hand. That's why he's so good at small talk. He can blather for hours about every piece of minutiae in the world, but ask him a direct question, and he will clam up and rush outside to mow the lawn.

Your home will be either near water or hidden in a cul-de-sac behind a tall fence. He would live in a place that's accessible only by helicopter, except that it would screw up his Thursday-night dates with the cocktail waitress at the local bar. If you do catch him between the wrong pair of sheets, he will put on such a display of grovelling, whining, and begging, that you might think he has suffered a breakdown. Don't be fooled. He thrives on intensity and is as much masochist as manipulator. He will do anything it takes at that moment to gain your forgiveness, except change. Scorpio is fixed water. He exists in a bottomless well of churning emotional excess and is so embroiled in trying to figure out his own emotions that he will never understand yours. Being sucked into the vortex of his charm is akin to getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle. You may or may not survive the trip.